This story
was taken from Bulatlat, the Philippines's alternative weekly
newsmagazine (www.bulatlat.com, www.bulatlat.net, www.bulatlat.org).
Vol. VII, No. 3, Feb. 18-24, 2007
Love without Borders
Being in a foreign country does not prevent one from falling in love, even in a
time of diaspora. Globalization and love have something in common since both can
cut across all borders. Unlike the former, however, the latter does not have any
ill-effects. BY
CAESAR A. BAROÑA These are the stories of
four couples interviewed in Melbourne, Australia. They are narratives of love
and romance amidst the background of uprooting, migration and movement in an
interconnected world. From Hong Kong to
Australia Reyvi was taking up law in
Melbourne, Australia while Charo was a teacher in the Philippines who decided to
work in Hong Kong. He was active in a Filipino support group in Melbourne while
Charo wrote for a Hong Kong community newspaper for Filipinos. Charo was interviewing
Reyvi's parents who were working in Hong Kong. The parents became fond of Charo
and decided to let her meet their son. When Reyvi went to visit to Hong Kong,
Charo took the opportunity to do a follow-up to her story about the couple's
success in sending their son to study law abroad. Reyvi and Charo decided to
exchange phone numbers and email addresses. At first, their conversations were
very formal and their relationship was purely professional. Eventually, however,
they ended up with each other. They got married and Charo moved in with Reyvi in
Australia a year ago. They said that they had
their share of problems when they decided to be together. "Dumaan kami sa
butas ng karayom (We went through the eye of a needle). What we share are
values and principles. Marunong siya sa buhay (He knows about life),"
Charo said. Online romance Greg (not his real name), a
Filipino-Australian with Greek heritage, was moving back and forth between
Australia and the Philippines. He decided to go back to the Philippines and work
as a graphic designer. Predictably, he led the life of a yuppie who loved
occasional parties and gimmicks. Bubbly Sheila was a
corporate secretary for a Japanese multinational company. She was living a
cosmopolitan life and was happy with her boyfriend. One evening, a casual
conversation in an online chat room started the process that would change her
life. Greg and Sheila would
continue with this online affair, “flirting wildly.” They then decided to meet
face-to-face. After a while, they started dating. And they ended up marrying
each other. They now have a child. Sheila and her son would follow Greg back to
Australia where he now has a web design company. Sheila, meanwhile, works as a
corporate events producer. A Fil-Aussie Romance Rozzini and Salvor are both
Filipino-Australians who were enjoying their young life. Salvor had a few
Australian girlfriends before meeting Rozzini. Their romance started at a party.
A throwing-up incident led to coffee and then dinner. A few more dates and they
went steady, visiting each other once in a while. "She's sweet and
thoughtful," Salvor says of Rozzini. The latter, meanwhile, says of him, "He's
very protective of me." "We always talk to each
other. It's not a boring relationship. We get along despite disagreements," they
said. As with young sweethearts,
they are trying to strengthen their relationship, and are in fact planning on
having a future together with kids and a house. "We will come through," Salvor
said. The two grew up in
Australia. Once in a while, Salvor and his family would visit the Philippines.
He said that he is happier in the Philippines because he has lots of cousins and
he gets to meet different people. He clarified, however, that "It's a hard place
to live in." Salvor also had to get
accustomed to what he says of Philippine culture being generally very
conservative in terms of relationships, with many taboos involving PDA (or
“public display of affection”) and pre-marital sex. He said that in the country
one also has to contend with having chaperones during dates. Mixed race couple Bong would be what one
would term “Pinoy na Pinoy” (very Filipino) while Kirsten is an
Anglo-Australian. The two first met in April 1991 in the Philippines as
participants in a conference of the Student Christian Movement (SCM). Kirsten remembers clearly
her first impression of Bong: "He had a big smile. I thought he looked
confident, warm and street-smart." Bong greeted him with the usual "How long
have you been in the Philippines?" They spent most of their
time debating with each other, one a western feminist and the other a leftist
ideologue. "But I thought his name was funny," Kirsten said, referring to a
device used for smoking substances. But by then, they were
spending a lot of time asking questions to each other and trying to understand
different perspectives. The critical moment came when the two were alone
together. When asked his concept of art, Bong asked Kirsten to close her eyes.
He then kissed her. "She never forgot me from then on," Bong said. Kirsten went back to
Australia, but the two got in touch through letters (the Internet virtually
didn't exist then). She came back to the Philippines in time for the big rallies
against the U.S. military bases, and the two met again and made a pledge. "It
was a challenge to commit in a big way," Bong said. Bong first arrived in
Australia in 1992. They were married in May 1993. Bong was impressed by the
vastness and cleanliness of the country. "I was learning to adapt to a new
environment. I knew no one then." The couple had to face the
challenges of raising a family. Looking for full-time work was not easy for both
of them. Bong even felt the pressure of inequality, as well as being a
“mixed-race” couple. In time, they hurdled most of the challenges. They have
already established a web design business, bought a house and are now raising
children. As of this writing, they have three healthy kids. “Becoming a parent is a
huge personal revolution," Bong said. "The political debate has shifted from
political to personal. You have to see society as your child. You want it to
grow. As a parent, you put cups in the sink, toilet-train and dress them until
they become independent, then be happy when they do grow up." Convergence Incidentally, the four
couples can be considered related: Salvor is the younger brother of Greg, who in
turn has Bong for a business partner. They met Reyvi in a Filipino support group
in Australia, where all of their families are currently active. Bulatlat © 2007 Bulatlat
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Alipato Publications Permission is granted to reprint or redistribute this article, provided its author/s and Bulatlat are properly credited and notified.
Four couples find
love across the Pacific
Bulatlat